Confession:
I'm really sad today. I miss my old friends and life back home.
^ My old apartment. It was a little chaotic. And yes, I'm the chick everyone is watching pushing on that dude.
I've been finding this pregnancy to be hard, and I think its because I recently changed lifestyles and moved a few months before I became pregnant. So I haven't really found any friends around here yet. I know its my fault, but its hard to make friends in a new area if you are stuck home everyday. I don't have a job, and we have one car. I guess I could walk and meet people, but its been freaking hot, and I don't want to drag my big preggo ass outside.
I just wish I knew people I could hang out with. I feel so alone. I'm thankful that my sister is right down the road, thats cool and all. I don't know, I guess I'm just missing how things used to be back home. Where I had a job, a car (wrecked mine right before finding out I was pregnant) I would have a few drinks and hang out with people. Now I just feel like a lump; a fat, depressed lump of baby.
I'm sorry for the complaining. I have to remind myself that my old friends suck. They can't relate to being married and having a baby. So I shouldn't be sad about not having them in my life anymore.
I sympathize with you. This year has been a hard one for friends for me too. For awhile, I lived close to work in SF but I found I hated living in the city. I see my SF friends way less than anyone else (as in, I've seen each of them once or not at all). Traveling around the city, especially on the available hours I had (i.e. after work, as it's starting to get dark) was dangerous, slimy and took forever. I was so worn out by the end of it, I just wanted to go home as soon as I arrived. So I moved to my dad's house (between 55 min and 1.5 hours in normal traffic). Waking pre-6am and arriving home around 6pm with all that commuting has also left me drained. I've turned to writing letters (yours is in the works!), phone calls and consoling myself that this will forevermore be known as my year of work, not my year of friends. It paid off as I got into the grad school of my choice and now I'm just looking forward to being social again. When this baby comes and you're not super preggo, maybe your husband can watch the wee one for a bit while you get some tea at a local shop and start finding time for YOU and new friends again. I hope so. In the meantime, know that I fully feel for you though I have NO idea how miserable being pregnant can be.
ReplyDeleteI feel for ya. You've had so many huge changes in such a short time. Even just moving alone makes it hard to keep friendships, and the ones that don't want to travel to visit aren't really worth your time...but that's hard to deal with regardless. Even when people aren't good for us I think we still miss them and those times in our lives. I've faced the same thing when I moved and I feel so alone a lot of the time even if the people I spent a lot of time with before weren't that great. I'd suggest meetup groups or a craft (or whatever interests you have) class if you could do it at a time when you have car access. Just getting out of the house now and then however you can. You're in a kind of tough spot, but hopefully Q being born will bop things in the right direction and things will change up a bit.
ReplyDeleteHang in there pretty lady.
you and i both know how amazing your life is right now. you actually have happiness! you're just being hormonal- and that's okay! pregnancy makes me people crazy.
ReplyDeleteWow, my boyfriend wrecked my car a few months before I got pregnant. Can totally relate.
ReplyDeletei totally love this picture. my apartment days were crazy and fun too! but i seriously cannot hang like i used to so now i'm just old and boring like everyone else.
ReplyDeletesad days will pass :D
It's hard to leave friends behind when you move and especially when you start a different chapter in your life than others.
ReplyDeleteIt gets better though, it always does. :)
Trust me, I've been where you're at before! My boyfriend (now Fiancé) and I moved to Arizona and 2 months later I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know anyone and like you said it can be hard finding the motivation to go out and actually meet people when you have a big ole' belly! I found it to be really hard since I am still pretty young and most people my age are out partying and living that lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard but it does get a little better eventually. That's why I've started blogging more is because I've met some amazing moms out there that I can actually relate too. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy though!
http://ohjazmyn.com
THIS! Wow I was all sorts of crazy when I was pregnant lol, it was pretty ridiculous! :P
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY understand. Totally. One and a half years ago we moved up North so my husband could attend college. I STILL haven't made any friends {except for maybe one...maybe?}. I stay home more often than not, and I miss my friends from back home. But my friends are amazing, so it makes it even harder :( most of them have kids, so again...HARDER. Nolan could have so many playmates! Ugh.
ReplyDeleteWow...I think this must be a thing that happens right before you have the baby.. I did this same thing. Felt depressed. Missed things I did when I was pregnant that I wouldnt bring in my life now.. made me sad but I know that this is true--It gets better!!!!! Just wait =) Hope your water breaks today! haha
ReplyDelete