Friday, February 17, 2012

I'm crazy

I'm about 10 weeks. Yes I know I had a baby 4 months ago. Haha we'll figure it out.

Now I can't say that I've been this calm about it since we found out. I knew I was pregnant back in the beginning of January. I was making coconut curry chicken (a favorite of ours) and I wanted to throw up. I hated anything Thai or curry when I was pregnant with Quentin. So I just knew then, Michael thought I was playing a joke on him.

When Michael and I decided to finally take a pregnancy test, I was 12 days late. ( I was 18 days late when I took a pregnancy test with Quentin) Michael came home from the store with a bottle of wine, chocolate brownies, new razors, shaving cream, nail polish and of course 2 pregnancy test. He figured, no matter what the result was, I was going to need pampering that night.

So I've had time to deal with it. I cried a lot at first. A LOT. I really didn't want to be pregnant again and especially so soon. I wasn't over the last pregnancy. I hated being pregnant and the labor was too intense for me; left me kinda scarred. I really wanted to get my body back in shape before having another one, I feel like I just had a mini-vacation between producing children. Plus, I wanted to slowly go vegan. And I don't know how that's going to work being pregnant. Things are weird.

Also, I know its stupid, and I know I will but, I don't know how I could love another child as much as I love Quentin. How is it even possible?

But Michael is happy, I'm warming up to it. It'll be nice for Quentin to have someone to play with and be close with.


16 comments:

  1. Michael is a good man!

    I was pregnant 4 times.  Every pregnancy and labor/delivery was unique.  Keep the faith.

    I love you and am excited for you.

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  2. Aw girl, all I can say is everything happens how it's meant to and is part of the bigger plan. Your husband sounds amazing! I know what you mean about being worried about loving your 2nd as much as your 1st. I heard a quote (ok it may have been from michelle duggar LOL) but it was something along the lines of babies are like flowers. Each one is beautiful and unique and you will love each in their own way. GL mama :)

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  3. I think it is great that they will be so close!! I always wished that I was closer in age with my sisters as my brothers are (they are 22months apart)

    Sounds like you have a great hubby!!

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  4. You have such a good husband, I think when Michael and Scott finally meet they are going to get along great :-)

    My good friend was vegan during her pregnancy, I can ask what exactly she ate, I know she was freaked out bc she thought if she didn't eat meat then her son wouldn't be "a man". I laughed at her. I think she was talking pregnancy talk. But she didn't eat meat at all. 

    I think (not because I've experienced this but I've seen with other moms) that once you have your 2nd baby, your heart is going to expand and love more than you could ever imagine, that years down the road you will think I don't love one child more than another, I love them both equally the same (although when they are acting up it may not feel that way) but I think you will be surprised at how much you love your 2nd. That you may even just love your first more because you will see how blessed you are to have two children and how amazing is it that they are going to be so close in age. My sister and I are very close in age and I have a bond with her that I don't have with anyone I know, Im closer to her than my other siblings and I think its because she was my first real friend and we have gone through things at the same time.

    xoxo

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  5. You'll do great mama. This happens sometimes. I wish you and your lil family nothing but luck during this journey.

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  6. I've thought the same about once we have another child how will I ever love the second as much but...love doesn't divide it multiplies! Good luck & congrats :)

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  7. Definitely the best thing you can do is focus on the positives so you're good to go already! :)

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  8. Just consider yourself a very lucky lady to be able to get pregnant so easily...things will work themselves out, they always do..it will be hard for sure but think how close your little ones will be.. I agree focus on the positives, you are strong enough to deal with this I am sure ;o)))) Congratulations xx

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  9. My kids are close in age. I was freaked out at first when I was newly pregnant things calmed down as my pregnancy went on. I hope that happens for you, too!

    Congrats to you and your boys.

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  10. Sounds like this was meant to happen! (as cheesy as that sounds).  I felt the same way when I had a "surprise" pregnancy, but I slowly came around.  Hang tough, lady. 

    AND CONGRATS!

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  11. Wow. I cannot imagine. My heart goes out to your frustration. I feel the exact same way in regard to being able to love a second child as much as my first. My mom, who has three of us kiddos, says you'll live the next one just as much. :)

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  12. my brother and i are 13 months apart. i don't know how my mama did it, but you'll figure it out too. plus, Q is going to have a lifetime best friend by having a sibling so close. it's really going to work to your benefit once they are old enough to play together!

    and as for loving another child as much? i felt the exact same way until the moment i held my second child in my arms. then all doubt vanished. but trust me, there was doubt and plenty of guilt the entire 9 months!

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  13. on loving a second child, have no fear, no doubt, the love just pours out of you.  my kids are further apart in age (2 1/2 years almost exactly), but i love having two even more than i did having one.  not only do they each have our love, they have the love of each other.  

    on vegan pregnancy, it's totally safe (vegan diet is safe for all stages of life according to the american dietetic association) and doable, but now might be a difficult time to transition considering all the other changes afoot.  highly recommend checking out some vegan cookbooks from the library or maybe searching pinterest for vegan recipes (i've been doing a lot of meal planning off pinterest).  the vegetarian mother's cookbook is vegan-friendly, and has suggestions for what to eat during each stage of pregnancy (including post), the recipes are simple, and it's huge.

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  14. I found out I was pregnant again with my second child right before my first turned 4 months old. I've been in the same predicament. I know exactly how you feel. I cried too, a lot. I don't know how else to put it except that it will just happen, and you will adjust. It won't be as bad as everyone will make it seem. You can do it..and somehow the 2nd one will be just as lovable. It will definitely be fun to watch your older child react with the baby. My kids are 3 and 2 now (12 months apart), and it just gets easier and easier. :) Good luck!

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  15. wish it was that easy for me! my hubby is dying for another one, so am i. my next one and Ezra will be more than two years apart, and i wanted them closer than that. desperately. oh well. just remember when things are rough that there are people like me out there that would kill to be in your position. you will be totally fine, and it'll be wonderful. you are an amazing mama and woman, i have no doubt you'll kick ace.

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  16. wish it was that easy for me! my hubby is dying for another one, so am i. my next one and Ezra will be more than two years apart, and i wanted them closer than that. desperately. oh well. just remember when things are rough that there are people like me out there that would kill to be in your position. you will be totally fine, and it'll be wonderful. you are an amazing mama and woman, i have no doubt you'll kick ace.

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